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Deep rapport

By Sophia Duvall, Jul 7 2014 10:00AM

I'm an unabashed introvert. I always have been. So, why do I love meeting people in this fashion, despite my introversion? While I do enjoy my own company, being introverted does not mean I don't love to socialise. I very much do, I simply prefer certain modes of socialising over others. I delight in connecting with other people. The long slow seduction, the chase, the eye contact, the expectant silences. Some people think of these as 'uncomfortable silences', but I never look at them this way. You can find out a lot about someone, and how you are together, by occasionally or even regularly sitting in silence.

Big, loud parties can deter this type of connection for an introvert. The best route to a mutually satisfying connection is building a deep rapport, which takes time and space. It doesn’t necessarily take a lot of time or a very specific kind of space. It means spending time in the right environment, and I find that this world provides that environment for me.

In case you hadn’t already picked up on it from other areas of my site, I’m a massive foodie. Food is one of the ultimate sensual experiences for me. Going to an amazing restaurant is the type of shared experience that builds deep rapport relatively quickly. Music is another way to do this. Remember those expectant silences? Music fills the silence, but it only builds the anticipation.

My experience is that the world is mostly built for extroverts, so I adore finding a gentleman or woman who appreciates what an introvert brings to the table. Since up to 75% of my fellow Americans are extroverts, I think of myself as a bit of a rarity. This doesn't mean that I don't love to converse, or even make small talk. On the contrary, I've been told that my contemplative nature and grounding presence provides a warm and inviting atmosphere to make exciting, new connections.

When I was little, although sweet, quiet and generally obedient, I was never one to shy away from adventure. I was always asking questions and trying out things I was told I probably shouldn't. More often than not, this approach to life has resulted in reward for me. As an adventurous introvert, I have rarely been disappointed.